19 Aug 2017

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Your Favorite Shameful Flavors As Chips!

New, from Chompsky's! All of the shameful self-hatred of eating peanut butter with a spoon, in the convenience of a potato chip!

19 Aug 2017 4:30pm GMT

17 Aug 2017

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Alex Jones's Head Finally Exploded

Zac, Grant, and Katie discuss how Stretch Armstrong left in a car console on a hot summer day/media personality Alex Jones's head finally exploded. And against all odds, it's not from him being told that not all cats are girls and getting so mad his noodle popped like a hot plum under a 6-inch Doc Marten boot.

17 Aug 2017 5:00pm GMT

12 Aug 2017

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Hinting That You're Queer Too

Ok, they're gay. Now, for a super chill, totally laid-back way to just like CASUALLY hint that you are too or whatever.

12 Aug 2017 4:30pm GMT

10 Aug 2017

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No, I Eat More Garbage!

The standoff to show once and for all who is the bigger garbage person: Rekha or Ally.

10 Aug 2017 5:38pm GMT

05 Aug 2017

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Wow, Everyone's Flirting With Ally

So Ally's the hot new cheese on the pizza, is she? The sexy new little fancy dancer all the boys want? And I suppose Katie's just a couple of dirty ol' quarters in a payphone slot now... just waiting for a hobo to TAKE HER AWAY to his PAPER HOUSE. STOP FLIRTING WITH HER.

05 Aug 2017 4:30pm GMT

03 Aug 2017

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These Incriminating Photos Look Amazing

This blackmailer has evidence of you committing a crime... and you look f*cking HOT in it.

03 Aug 2017 5:45pm GMT

29 Jul 2017

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The Girl Who's Super Low-Maintenance

Not caring about anything is surprisingly annoying.

29 Jul 2017 4:30pm GMT

27 Jul 2017

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You Can Never Take the Last Cookie

When there's only one cookie left, you can't take the whole thing. You wouldn't want to be RUDE, would you? We didn't think so.

27 Jul 2017 5:00pm GMT

22 Jul 2017

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Sorry, What'd You Say Again?

When you don't hear what someone said to you, and you've already asked them to repeat themselves twice... sometimes the best plan is to just throw yourself into a ravine.

22 Jul 2017 5:30pm GMT

20 Jul 2017

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Different Friends to Different People

"Just be yourself" only works if you're like, super cool to begin with!

20 Jul 2017 2:21pm GMT

17 Jul 2017

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Your Friend Who Lives Too Far Away

I shouldn't need to refill my gas tank on the way to your house.

17 Jul 2017 1:22pm GMT

13 Jul 2017

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Zac Bought a Whip

Ahh! My glass menagerie!

13 Jul 2017 5:30pm GMT

11 Jul 2017

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Um Actually Strikes Back (Ep 4)

Sponsored by Adam Ruins Everything. Watch new episodes Tuesdays at 10/9c on truTV!

11 Jul 2017 2:10pm GMT

08 Jul 2017

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How Being In Public Feels: Men VS Women

Hi, it's me, the person who completely misses the point, here to tell you men get murdered too!

08 Jul 2017 4:00pm GMT

06 Jul 2017

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Too Many Weddings

Fly to Maui for two days? Sure, right after I finish feeding my TIGER all these DIAMONDS.

06 Jul 2017 5:00pm GMT

01 Jul 2017

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Katie Gets Busted

DMT's still legal though, right?

01 Jul 2017 4:00pm GMT

23 Nov 2013

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Top 20 Chemistry Jokes of Some Time

It's not everyday we regurgitate a few old (and new!) chemistry jokes. How often do we tell them? Periodically. We told one the other day, but there was no reaction. Hahaha! Wait? How come nobody else is laughing? Ehem… well, anyways, here are a few more: When I first heard oxygen and magnesium got together […]

The post Top 20 Chemistry Jokes of Some Time appeared first on Funny & Jokes.

23 Nov 2013 10:20pm GMT

18 Nov 2013

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God Will Save Me!

Somewhere in the Southeastern United States, probably Louisiana or Arkansas (you know, the bible belt), a huge hurricane came through and threatened to take out an entire town. At the local church, people were praying. Their pastor, a fervent young man, asked for people to remain calm and wait for God's help. Mid-prayer, the flood […]

The post God Will Save Me! appeared first on Funny & Jokes.

18 Nov 2013 4:10pm GMT

17 Nov 2013

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Getting Married in Heaven

A young couple was on their way to get married when they were involved in a fatal car accident. It was really bad, like something from a Quentin Tarantino movie. At any rate, they soon found themselves standing in front of the pearly gates of heaven staring at St. Peter himself. Upset, but wanting to […]

The post Getting Married in Heaven appeared first on Funny & Jokes.

17 Nov 2013 12:41pm GMT

14 Nov 2013

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From Riches to Rags

A wealthy Catholic man travels to the Vatican City to see the Bishop of Rome in person, and hopes to meet this leader of the worldwide Catholic Church. Wearing his finest suit, he prays to God that he might be able to meet the Holy Father. During the morning's Papal procession, he manages to work […]

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14 Nov 2013 12:33pm GMT

10 Nov 2013

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11 Crappy One-Liners Sure To Leave You A Loser

Do you have a fear of standing alone at your company party with nobody to talk to and no way to break the ice? Have no fear, F&J is here! Here's a quick and dirty arsenal of one-liner jokes that are sure to make you the life of the party. Rest assured that nobody will […]

The post 11 Crappy One-Liners Sure To Leave You A Loser appeared first on Funny & Jokes.

10 Nov 2013 9:59pm GMT

03 Feb 2012

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A Man Walks Into A Bar With An Alligator On A Leash

The bartender says "You can't have that thing in here! Get out!" The guy says "It's okay, this Alligator is highly trained. Just give me a few seconds and I'll show you." The bartender, intrigued, gives him the go-ahead. The man gingerly lifts the alligator up onto a table. By this point, everybody in the […]

The post A Man Walks Into A Bar With An Alligator On A Leash appeared first on Funny & Jokes.

03 Feb 2012 8:23pm GMT

14 Jan 2012

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Those Dirty Pirates

A pirate is starting his first day aboard his new ship and the captain is giving him the tour. "There's the plank for trouble makers, there's the deck that needs swabbing everyday and there's the barrel for all you sexual needs." "Whatcha mean? my sexual needs?" "Well, you stick your willy in the hole and […]

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14 Jan 2012 4:26pm GMT

13 Jan 2012

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What A Scary Flight

After waiting for what seemed like an eternity, the stewardess announces over the intercom that "we're just waiting for the pilots." The passengers look out the window and see two men, dressed as pilots walking towards the plane. Both men are using guide dogs and appear to be blind. There are murmurs among the passengers, […]

The post What A Scary Flight appeared first on Funny & Jokes.

13 Jan 2012 9:46pm GMT

22 Nov 2011

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Getting Bank of America By The Balls

A little old lady walks into Bank of America and asks to open a savings account. The new accounts receptionist first thinks this is strange, probably because everyone is leaving them for credit unions now. At any rate, the accounts person asks her how much she wanted to deposit to open the account, and the […]

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22 Nov 2011 1:27am GMT

27 Oct 2011

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The Not So Stupid Monkey

A man walks in a bar with his pet monkey. He sits down and orders a drink, meanwhile the monkey is running around all over the place and jumps up on a pool table. He grabs the 8 ball, shoves it into his mouth and swallows it hole. "Holy crap!" says the bartender, completely livid. […]

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27 Oct 2011 3:30pm GMT