16 Dec 2017

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The Best Christmas Songs Are Sad

My personal favorite is tied between "Jingle Bells" and "Where's Aunt Millie? Oh... Right. She Passed Earlier This Year. It Still Seems So Strange That She's Not Around"

16 Dec 2017 5:30pm GMT

14 Dec 2017

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Who's the Real Cop?

He's a true loose cannon, by which we mean, not actually affiliated with the police force in any way.

14 Dec 2017 6:00pm GMT

09 Dec 2017

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Instagram Art Show

Who could forget perhaps Ansel Adams' greatest work, "Dog I Saw Near Trader Joe's."

09 Dec 2017 5:30pm GMT

07 Dec 2017

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I Swear I Didn't Wreck the Bathroom

We had to demolish the whole office building. Thanks, Zac.

07 Dec 2017 6:00pm GMT

02 Dec 2017

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How to Actually Finish Something, for Once

Someday you'll paint those other 3 walls!

02 Dec 2017 5:30pm GMT

30 Nov 2017

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Let's Not Get a Drink Sometime

It has absolutely not been too long.

30 Nov 2017 6:30pm GMT

27 Nov 2017

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Don't Start a Podcast

Go ahead and remove that Blue Snowball microphone from your Amazon cart. It's not gonna work.

27 Nov 2017 6:30pm GMT

25 Nov 2017

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Stop Pitching Sketches About Other Cast Members

I'm still sour about her sketch "Whoever Writes Our Video Descriptions Smells Like Cat Dander And Fart."

25 Nov 2017 5:30pm GMT

20 Nov 2017

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Disarming Conversational Land Mines

Watch out. This Thanksgiving dinner is covered in live opinions.

20 Nov 2017 6:30pm GMT

18 Nov 2017

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If Hand Turkeys Were Real

Some people call them a crime against god, other people call them just plain delicious!

18 Nov 2017 5:30pm GMT

17 Nov 2017

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We Play Would You Rather

You settle in for a long winter's crap. #WouldYouRather have toilet paper OR your cell phone? #lifedecisions

17 Nov 2017 5:00pm GMT

16 Nov 2017

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The Story of the First Friendsgiving

Much of the food was provided thanks to Squanto (my roommate's work friend's DJ name.)

16 Nov 2017 6:30pm GMT

14 Nov 2017

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#TMW You Get Dumped In Public

Sponsored by Eko

14 Nov 2017 7:16pm GMT

#TMW You Vaguely Remember Someone Who Totally Knows You

Sponsored by Eko

14 Nov 2017 7:15pm GMT

11 Nov 2017

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When Someone's Trying Too Hard To Have Fun

Sorry, Andrew W.K., but there IS such thing as partying too hard.

11 Nov 2017 5:30pm GMT

09 Nov 2017

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Male Friendships are Just Bullying

This colossal big time piece of crap loser is the best friend I've ever had.

09 Nov 2017 6:30pm GMT

23 Nov 2013

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Top 20 Chemistry Jokes of Some Time

It's not everyday we regurgitate a few old (and new!) chemistry jokes. How often do we tell them? Periodically. We told one the other day, but there was no reaction. Hahaha! Wait? How come nobody else is laughing? Ehem… well, anyways, here are a few more: When I first heard oxygen and magnesium got together […]

The post Top 20 Chemistry Jokes of Some Time appeared first on Funny & Jokes.

23 Nov 2013 10:20pm GMT

18 Nov 2013

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God Will Save Me!

Somewhere in the Southeastern United States, probably Louisiana or Arkansas (you know, the bible belt), a huge hurricane came through and threatened to take out an entire town. At the local church, people were praying. Their pastor, a fervent young man, asked for people to remain calm and wait for God's help. Mid-prayer, the flood […]

The post God Will Save Me! appeared first on Funny & Jokes.

18 Nov 2013 4:10pm GMT

17 Nov 2013

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Getting Married in Heaven

A young couple was on their way to get married when they were involved in a fatal car accident. It was really bad, like something from a Quentin Tarantino movie. At any rate, they soon found themselves standing in front of the pearly gates of heaven staring at St. Peter himself. Upset, but wanting to […]

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17 Nov 2013 12:41pm GMT

14 Nov 2013

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From Riches to Rags

A wealthy Catholic man travels to the Vatican City to see the Bishop of Rome in person, and hopes to meet this leader of the worldwide Catholic Church. Wearing his finest suit, he prays to God that he might be able to meet the Holy Father. During the morning's Papal procession, he manages to work […]

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14 Nov 2013 12:33pm GMT

10 Nov 2013

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11 Crappy One-Liners Sure To Leave You A Loser

Do you have a fear of standing alone at your company party with nobody to talk to and no way to break the ice? Have no fear, F&J is here! Here's a quick and dirty arsenal of one-liner jokes that are sure to make you the life of the party. Rest assured that nobody will […]

The post 11 Crappy One-Liners Sure To Leave You A Loser appeared first on Funny & Jokes.

10 Nov 2013 9:59pm GMT

03 Feb 2012

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A Man Walks Into A Bar With An Alligator On A Leash

The bartender says "You can't have that thing in here! Get out!" The guy says "It's okay, this Alligator is highly trained. Just give me a few seconds and I'll show you." The bartender, intrigued, gives him the go-ahead. The man gingerly lifts the alligator up onto a table. By this point, everybody in the […]

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03 Feb 2012 8:23pm GMT

14 Jan 2012

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Those Dirty Pirates

A pirate is starting his first day aboard his new ship and the captain is giving him the tour. "There's the plank for trouble makers, there's the deck that needs swabbing everyday and there's the barrel for all you sexual needs." "Whatcha mean? my sexual needs?" "Well, you stick your willy in the hole and […]

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14 Jan 2012 4:26pm GMT

13 Jan 2012

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What A Scary Flight

After waiting for what seemed like an eternity, the stewardess announces over the intercom that "we're just waiting for the pilots." The passengers look out the window and see two men, dressed as pilots walking towards the plane. Both men are using guide dogs and appear to be blind. There are murmurs among the passengers, […]

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13 Jan 2012 9:46pm GMT

22 Nov 2011

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Getting Bank of America By The Balls

A little old lady walks into Bank of America and asks to open a savings account. The new accounts receptionist first thinks this is strange, probably because everyone is leaving them for credit unions now. At any rate, the accounts person asks her how much she wanted to deposit to open the account, and the […]

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22 Nov 2011 1:27am GMT

27 Oct 2011

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The Not So Stupid Monkey

A man walks in a bar with his pet monkey. He sits down and orders a drink, meanwhile the monkey is running around all over the place and jumps up on a pool table. He grabs the 8 ball, shoves it into his mouth and swallows it hole. "Holy crap!" says the bartender, completely livid. […]

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27 Oct 2011 3:30pm GMT